Curly ponytails

I remember when I was a kid, my mom would let me wear my hair ‘down’. She would straighten it and then roll it with pink foam rollers. Remember those? I remember the smell of the hot comb and the sound of the hair grease as it melted. Be sure to hold your ear so your mom won’t burn it. One time, I was so eager to wear my curly ponytails that I stayed up all night. You can imagine my excitement the next morning when she took the rollers out. I saw my beautiful curls. Back in those days, that was all we needed to get excited. Things like, curly ponytails, a trip to your grandmother’s house, or a sleepover (we called it spend the night with X). Those were the days, right? Do you remember a time when you felt pure joy?

Reflection and recognition

As I pondered what topic I should write about, I thought, what happened to me? How did I become so unhappy? How did I lose hope?

You’ve heard people say, that all things are possible to those who believe, nothing is impossible for God. We say those words, but do we believe them? I’ve been out of work for the past six months. These past six months I did not feel like the little girl waiting to see her curly ponytails. If I can be honest, I felt like a failure. The circumstances leading up to the layoff were a time of tremendous pain, pressure, humiliation, and doubt.

Nowhere in that list did I say anything about possibility and hope. At one point, I could not talk about anything related to work without crying or getting angry. I kept asking God, why? Why me? I pray every day, pay my tithes, serve, and work hard. At no point during this time, did I experience happiness, excitement, or hope. 

I mention that to present my perspective. I am not wearing rose-colored glasses. Times are tough. From politics to inflation, we have the right to feel the way we do. We can stew in what was done to us and who did it. Tell anyone who will listen. Yes, I did that. Back in February, I sat in the airport and told a stranger the saga of my life. I wanted others to know what happened, but I also wanted said stranger to recommend me for a job. You might guess that the recommendation did not pan out. I will admit it was not my finest moment. But I continued asking, God why. Why now, and why me? Silence. 

Our mind is a battlefield

When we close the door on the opportunity for hope and possibility, we lose the battle in our minds. Our mind has a mind of its own. My thoughts tell me, ‘You are never going to find a job’, or ‘No one will hire you because you could not keep the job you had’, and ‘No one will read your blog, so why bother writing it.’ My thoughts also told me to tell the stranger in the airport, what ‘they’ did to me, to present myself as a victim. Our minds can be transformed for the better. It is called mind renewal.   

When we experience negative thoughts, we should not dwell on them. According to the American Dictionary of 1828, dwell is defined as to abide as a permanent resident, or to inhabit for a time; to live in a place; to have a habitation for some time or permanence. The word permanence is so, well, permanent. I do not want to be in a permanent place engulfed in negative thoughts, wasting time focused on things I cannot control.

Small steps toward a renewed mind

I implemented these small steps to help me. I started by replacing a negative thought with two positive ones. I forgave myself for speaking negatively about me. I smiled more. I mentored others. I found something positive to say about others and shared the compliment.  

Evidence of change

Recently, I spoke with my career coach, and she told me I was the most positive person she’s coached. She added you possess a rare skill (positivity and perspective). But I explained I have worked hard to renew my thinking because it is not something that comes naturally.

During the last six months, possibility and hope have been awakened and I want to encourage you to give possibility and hope a chance. I get it, it’s hard to pull yourself out of that pit, but I ask you to try.

Start your journey

Start your journey to hope and possibility today by writing down one positive thought about you, your life, or the people around you. Start small with a positive thought about yourself. What do you like most about you? Then expand the positive thoughts toward others. Say one positive thing about yourself each day. I have 10-15 positive declarations I speak about myself and my family. I add to them when I think of something else. Why don’t you start there too? Your possibility will be awakened as you do this.

Let me know what you think

Drop me a line and let me know how it’s going.

#possibility #hope #mindrenewal #perspective #serveothers